Well it’s been a while since surgery. It’s been an interesting couple of months. Firstly, oops, I was supposed to go see my doctor once a month… didn’t realise that.
Prior to that, well, it’s not been smooth sailing. For the first month, it was so easy. Not eating much was a breeze. Didn’t have to think about it, didn’t have to put in any effort, it all just happened. What I didn’t notice was as time went on, I started eating a little more and a little more. Not as much as before surgery but certainly not far off. I became aware of it and good ol’ guilt and feeling crap about myself kicked in. Then I clicked. I just clicked. I realised that if I ate less I was still satisfied. I was eating more, not out of hunger or even out of self-medication but because I wasn’t paying attention. I wasn’t “present”. I wasn’t aware.
So I started paying attention and found I could eat less straight away and I didn’t feel hungry. I wondered how long I’ve been doing that. Eating more than I actually needed, or wanted.
I thought when I had my next weigh-in at the doctor’s that I would have gone backwards. I expected a lecture. Amazingly, no! I still managed to lose a good chunk of weight. Freakin’ awesome! Lesson learnt and not to be repeated. Goes to show you that even when you screw up, that safety net is still there. Obviously I can’t just let things go or I’ll get stuck sooner or later, but it’s good to know that the surgery wasn’t a wasted effort. It is helping me.
I still haven’t got my exercise quotient up. It’s hard. I’m trying to transition to a new career so I’m working a full time job and then I come home and work on the other career. I don’t know if I’m making excuses. Probably. But I’ll get there. I am making changes. I walk wherever I can, I’m more active than I used to be. Rather than sitting around on weekends, I’m trying to constantly do thing; get up early and get out of the house. Go do stuff. I’m a bit too embarrassed to do exercise in public. And frankly, even more embarrassingly, I’ve broken some home exercise equipment in the past so I can live without that mortification again. I’ve been contemplating buying a yoga DVD so I can do exercise at home… maybe I should just bite the bullet…
It’s all a learning experience!
